written by Bethany McKinney Fox
This devotional-style blog series is written with the intention of giving you space slowing down, find your center, and ground your day.
Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash
As church starters focused on leading communities and adapting our structures and practices in this time where we can’t gather physically, by necessity we are focusing on creating new things and orienting toward the future as we imagine and plan for what our worshiping communities might look like in this changing social structure. And as innovators in general, we honor and participate in new beginnings for communities on the regular. This is such a gift.
But this time in particular also has a lot of loss and grieving mixed into it, and it can be hard to honor endings, and to make space for these feelings when we have so much energy and hours to spend focused on planning and adapting for present and future realities. Endings matter as they can invite transformation and beginnings, and taking time to attend to and value them allows us to embrace the whole of what God has done and is doing.
So, to honor the endings we are going through, below you’ll find a scripture, questions, and a closing reading to make some space for lament, and for acknowledging and holding before God some of the sorrow, loss, and grief you may be experiencing right now. Processing our pain isn’t something we always have energy for, but when you have the energy for it, we invite you to engage with these thoughts and questions that might help open up the process. Maybe this will happen first thing in the morning, maybe it will be during a mid-day walk, maybe it will be with a close friend over Zoom, or with a member of your household, or as you prepare for sleep. Whatever time works for you, may it be a time of feeling received and accompanied by the God of all comfort and embracing love.
Scripture
Psalm 42
1 As a deer longs for flowing streams,
so my soul longs for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and behold
the face of God?
3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while people say to me continually,
‘Where is your God?’
4 These things I remember,
as I pour out my soul:
how I went with the throng,
and led them in procession to the house of God,
with glad shouts and songs of thanksgiving,
a multitude keeping festival.
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise God,
my help and my God.
6 My soul is cast down within me;
therefore I remember you
from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,
from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep
at the thunder of your cataracts;
all your waves and your billows
have gone over me.
8 By day the Lord commands with steadfast love,
and at night God’s song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God, my rock,
‘Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I walk about mournfully
because the enemy oppresses me?’
10 As with a deadly wound in my body,
my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me continually,
‘Where is your God?’
11 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again give praise,
my help and my God.
Questions for Reflection
Take some time to be with God as you reflect on any or all of these questions, whichever of them feel helpful, or anything else the Spirit brings to mind as you explore places where you are feeling grief and loss in this current reality. It may help to write things down to help organize your thoughts or feelings, or to make space for silence and just see what comes to the surface.
What do you miss about life before COVID-19––both the mundane and special things? Who do you miss being able to engage with in physical presence? You might want to write some of these things down just to acknowledge and honor all of what you are missing and grieving at the moment, and bring that list with intentionality before God.
What do you miss about gathering in person with your church? While there may also be some beautiful gifts in this season of gathering in different ways, how has transitioning to a remote gathering format felt like a loss in terms of sharing your gifts, heart, or leadership with your community?
Have you noticed more grief or sorrow in your heart in this season? Are there moments where this has become stronger for you? Is there a place in your body where these feelings seem to reside?
Where have you been finding support in this time? What spiritual or prayer practices, hobbies, physical activities, or personal relationships have been especially nourishing for you? Thank God for what has nourished you. If you find yourself also feeling the need for more support, reflect on who you might reach out to or what activity you want to make more space for in the coming days.
Do you have any questions for God?
Closing Prayer
Do not hurry as you walk with grief;
it does not help the journey.
Walk slowly, pausing often:
do not hurry as you walk with grief.
Be not disturbed by memories that come unbidden.
Swiftly forgive;
and let Christ speak for you unspoken words.
Unfinished conversation will be resolved in him.
Be not disturbed.
Be gentle with the one who walks with grief.
If it is you, be gentle with yourself.
Swiftly forgive;
walk slowly, pausing often.
Take time,
be gentle as you walk with grief.
written by Andy Raine, Northumbria Community
Go in Peace, friends!
Rev. Dr. Bethany McKinney Fox is the Director of Spiritual Formation for Cyclical LA. She is the organizing pastor of Beloved Everybody Church in Los Angeles, an ability-inclusive community where people with and without intellectual and other disabilities lead and participate together. Her recent book Disability and the Way of Jesus (2019, IVP Academic) explores how to follow the healing way of Jesus to create communities of mutual thriving.